


Breaking up.

by zediekiel



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Drunkenness, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-02
Updated: 2013-09-02
Packaged: 2017-12-25 11:16:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/952435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zediekiel/pseuds/zediekiel





	Breaking up.

 

Dave wandered through the meteor. However his wandering was most certainly not any kind of brooding. Nope. Cool guys on his level did not do that brooding swag without undergoing the twelve rituals of ironic parody. He was most certainly not brooding about relationship problems! That was the way of the messed up emo kid and he would not disgrace his bro’s hard won teachings by becoming one of those shitty 2007 fads.

  
“Sssso why r u brooodin Dave?” *hic*

  
Dave jumped back, most certainly not out of surprise as to how an inebriated girl dressed in bright yellow and orange could have possibly surprised him. No, not surprised, um, startled? No that wasn’t the right word either.

“Y’know what RLLLY SUCKS!“  Rose began, already too wasted to care about his problems.

 

“S’like, we’ve got a whole meteor full a awesome Shhhhstuff…and s’like-*hic* nuffin is evvar rlly awesome any moar”

“Rose…I say this with all the love an ectobrother can give.  Go home, you’re drunk”

  
“PshhhhhhahahahahaHAHA” beginning to laugh uncontrollably, Rose tripped over her own feet, falling into Dave’s ever so chivalrous arms.

“*hic* My heBRo” Rose cried giggling uncontrollably before puckering her lips, stumbling to steal a kiss from the knight.

 _And thank you Siggy homeboy_. Dave felt the spirit of the great psychoanalyst flow through him, channeling the energy of the bro of utter bullshit, and he knew what he had to do! Letting his arms fall to his sides, Rose fell to the ground face first. A soft groan and whine rising from her semi-lucid form.

Dave would leave with an exasperated sigh. One problem at a time Strider. Going back to his broo-I mean, deep walking thoughts, Dave would once again meander into the common room. Roses tinctures and distilleries filling up several tables by now. This really was getting out of hand, but he also had more important things on is think pan…no, mind. Mind was the right word. The troll jargon was starting to get to him. No, the real problem was his, sort of girlfriend.

At first it had been cool, just like when they talked online, only more…real, personable even. They shared shitty drawings, he wrote raps for her. She danced for him. God she was such an awful dancer, granted she couldn’t see but that was more a contributing factor than an excuse. For a while it had been fun, making art and music, exchanging ironic jokes with each other, even upping the ante into some high stakes truth and dare. And then there was that night they’d all broken out Roses booze and the crazy purple clowns faygo and had what was quiet possibly the best and least remembered knight of their lives.

Come to think of it, that was when all the problems started. Her mouth had become increasingly sugary sweet since then. Like, giving him cavities from all the residual sugar left on her breath alone. Really killing the mood during their make-out sessions. And then she started sneaking off. Leaving the bed in the middle of the night. She said she needed to get back to her recuperacoon, that the nightmares kept coming. He accepted it, swallowing hard. It made too much sense. It was too plausible with too few layers of intrigue and irony to have been the case. She was lying to him.

Getting more distant with each passing day and disappearing for who knew how many hours at a time. He swallowed again, leaning back and slouching into one of the chairs, too lost in thought to pay attention to the red caped figure looming behind him.  
Swooping down from on high, sated with her meal the red dragon grinned, sniffing out her prey. The tasty knight before her, relaxing in a moment of comfort, little aware that this momentary lapse in attention would prove his undoing. Swooping in, the dragon would grasp the knights’ visor, ripping off the protective black coating before fleeting away across the room.

Dave’s eyes snapped open and his pupils shrunk to the size of pinpricks, too used to seeing the world through tinted glass to handle the fluorescent lights all around the meteor. Rubbing his eyes he would stand up hand outstretched trying to grasp hold of something to orient himself.

“LOOK1NG FOR TH3S3 COOL K1D?” the would be legislacrator would ask donning the iconic movie shades. Blinking away lights, Dave’s red eyes would immediately alight on Terezi. “T-gurl I think that we need-“ “WHO 1S TH1S T-GURL OF WH1CH YOU SP34K KN1GHT? 1 4M TH3 GR34T DR4GON PYR4LSP1T3!!! PR3P4R3 YOURS3LF MORT4L FOR YOUR UNK3MPT D3M1S3!” It was a familiar play, one they’d put on before so many times. The knight fighting the dragon for the hand of the maiden. Sometimes Dave would win and take the “maiden” (Terezi’s) hand…other times he would lose and Dave would be forced to play the “maiden” as Terezi “ate” him. He wanted this. He really wanted this, both physically and psychologically, to enjoy himself and forget his problems. Forget the lies and the secrets. The faygo on her breath, the subtle honks which occasionally came from the air ducts.

“No. I’m afraid not this time Terezi” he said walking towards her. The trolls’ grin faded into a line. And then a frown. He was doing it. He was absolutely doing it. She thought she had it under control. She thought that she could read him well enough, that with the right words at the right time…the right amount of fun and “fun.” “PL34S3 STR1D3R DONT DO TH1S.” He would come close and break just about every rule of coolness as he leaned in and hugged her. He didn’t say anything, not sorry, not “it’s not you, it’s me,” he just stood there, holding her. The faint smell of faygo on her. Teal spots began rolling down her cheeks, staining the sleeves of Daves PJ’s. They stayed like that for almost ten minutes before he began speaking “I’m not gonna have you stop what you’re doing” each word coming out made it harder and harder to go on.

“But…I can’t handle this blackrom shit. I like to think that I’m a pretty open-minded guy, but I can’t handle what this is. This, quadrant stuff. I’m not gonna stop you. Even if he is the worst fucking clown imaginable. The juggalo bastard who murdered your friends and keeps everyone up at knight with his shitty honking. But whatever choice you make, I’m going to have to respect it.”

Terezi was dumbfounded. She had played out this scenario already a million million times and still, she wasn’t prepared for it. Her fingers gripped the back of his clothes tightly. “C4N W3 JUST...ON3 MOR3 T1M3?” Dave would stay there for a moment rubbing her back before responding “Alright.”


End file.
